As I am finally having a short break, (well, I still work and everything, but at least I have a break with my studies and I don't have to think about that for about a month) my entire worl has slowed down a bit and it's not as full of mixed emotions as it was three months ago. I just slowed down and make myself happy just being me. It was a time full of different thought, lost friends and being able to get up and have a good day instead. So, I felt like I was completely alone and not able to do anything about it, because I surely needed a break from my broken hearts issues and being misunderstood. So, yeah, I did study a lot then and when I have less time to thing it is finally relaxing. Mind is such a powerful subject and of course it's not cooperating with me that good as I would wish to. I have my friend in the world when we were boys and girls - like in my high school, and suddenly I still feel lost with everything. It's always like that when everything you heard is turning into an endless lie. Which was a good thing then and you remember it and now it's makind an endless hole in your broken heart. By broken, I mean hurt several times this year. It is a weird year fo my life, I thing. Full of emotions, full of looking for something I can not yet specify. Weird feeling when you have so much of it inside your sould and it's torning you apart. Anyway, I just found myself again in art. I started to paint again and I started to read a lot of poetry. I have found all the Robert Frost and Richard Siken poems I just have hidden for moments like these. When you do realize that you have so much love to give and none of the people you have known should receive it, but you figured out that too late. That's the moment. That's the exact moment, when it is time to read that my small rome builed of pizza boxes and cookies is a bit burning. So I finally took my poems out, went on a small trip, found some peace in flowers. I just love to travel around my country. If I am lucky enough I will travel at the oen of this month to the place where wild horses appear to live and took some amazing photos - well, it must be amazing, I mean wild horses are awesome no matter how much you do suck at photographs. My collegue told me that I have my own point of view for the world. I really want to belive that. She also said that she sees me somehere in the worlf full of art and that I might be found as my own piece of artwork. It was fulfilling. I mean really. Feeling loved or that someone is proud of you - that's the point of living a life that me and you are actually leaving. I wanted to live the dream of my life and I hope that this dream appear to be the life that I am living today. Someday, that is my dream. Now is full of...feelings. I just want to fullfill my wishes. But isn't that what everyone wants? :)
I took my camera out and here are the results:
I was out with my friend for one of my free weekends and we took a bunch of lovely photos.
I also got back to my artsy side and had some peace with nature.
I have also visited the capitol city of my country - Warsaw and had some great time at the gardens and with all those pretty flowers!
Ugh such beautiful photos!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSuch a nice peaceful place! I love it ^_^
Jade xo